The Carrie Withdrawal Diaries

"A relationship is like couture -- if it doesn't fit properly, it's a disaster."

“A relationship is like couture — if it doesn’t fit properly, it’s a disaster.”

Since ‘Homeland’ has been on hiatus, I have to admit I am suffering from Carrie Withdrawal.  Who would have thought that a mental illness could be so chic?  My so-called Mathison life compares to the same feeling I had with the realization that ‘Sex and the City’ was truly over.  I find it strange how a Carrie can have such an affect on your psyche.  In that event, as I impatiently wait for Season 3 of ‘Homeland’ to start, I might as well binge on ‘Sex and the City’ reruns on Hulu.  I have always enjoyed the straightforward approach of the dialogue, especially when it’s in the context of fashion.  I honestly believe that SJP brought Manolos into mainstream vocabulary.  So, in an ode to Carrie, here are a handful of my favorite fashionista-esque quotes that I like to call Sh*t Carrie Says and my Charmin-fresh commentary.

Carrie: When I first moved to New York I bought Vogue instead of dinner.  I just felt it fed me more.

Me: When I first moved to New York, I took advantage of the Grey’s Papaya Recession special and read leftover Marie Claires and Cosmopolitans at the laundromat.

Carrie: I’m thinking balls are to men what purses are to women.  It’s just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it.

Me: It’s not just a little bag; it’s more like a Louis Vuitton limited-edition luggage set.  Set being the operative word.

Carrie: Men I may not know, but shoes, shoes I know.

Me: No comment.

Carrie: You can’t be friends with a squirrel!  A squirrel is just a rat in a cuter outfit.  

Me: Little furry things are not cute in any urban landscape even if it is wearing a little Burberry scarf.

Carrie: Shopping is my cardio.

Me: Crossing a busy avenue when the counter is down to 3 forces me into a sweat.

Carrie: I fell. I fell in Dior.

Me: Poor thing, I never experienced that.  But I totally wiped out right in front of everyone sitting inside Five Napkin Burger when the streets were so icy last year.

Carrie: I like my money right where I can see it…hanging in my closet!

Me: My wallet is bulimic.

Carrie: I have this little substance abuse problem…expensive footwear.

Me: I have several: Sephora VIB gifts, watching every Broadway show available on TDF, and Topman T-shirts.

Carrie: The odds of bumping into the one who broke your heart are incredibly high.  The odds of bumping into him when you look like sh*t are even higher.

Me: That is some deep sh*t Carrie.  TTYL!

And last but certainly not least, some memorable phrases from her BFFs…..

Charlotte: My marriage is a fake Fendi! 

Miranda: You can take me out of Manhattan but you can’t take me out of my shoes. 

Stanford: Oh, my God, she’s fashion roadkill!

Samantha: Hi, I need something that’ll make a guy cum in his pants as soon as he sees me.

So, if you have some Sh*t Carrie Says that I may have overlooked, then please share them in the comments.


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